Reflections on Mommyhood - 1 Year

I can’t believe I’ve been at this for 1 year already. There are days when I still feel like I’m learning how to be a stay-at-home mom, what that means to me. I guess it makes sense since my baby girl changes so much from month to month, but another part of me feels like I ought to have more of it figured out by now than I do.

One thing I’ve learned about myself since becoming a mother is that I need to play more – not just for my daughter, but for myself, too. You know the saying, “work before play”? It is the opposite for me: play before work. If I don’t switch it around, the play never happens! This self-realization of how task-oriented I am took about 9 months before it came into full focus for me. (Right now my husband is laughing because he could have told me about this tendency of mine, oh, 10 years ago!) I actually find it rather pathetic. If I don’t watch myself, I become married to my to-do lists. No, really. I get bound by them. When I allow myself to play – doing something I enjoy just because I enjoy it, not having any goal or purpose attached to it – I have a constant gnawing at the back of my mind that I am wasting my time and not getting any closer to accomplishing those things on my list. Then I feel like a failure. However, if I follow the usual mantra and work first, then I will keep working and never get around to playing. So I am working on allowing myself to play first and to ENJOY it, to not feel guilty about it.

One of the best things I did for myself this last year was teach summer school. It was an opportunity for me to remember who I was before I became a mom, to see how the two selves would mesh. At first I really liked teaching again; I felt in control. I know what I'm doing in the classroom, and frankly, I’m good at it! It was a part-time gig, but it was every morning, five days a week, for about 5½ hours before I would see my baby girl again. By the time I got to her, she was ready for her afternoon nap, and then it was dinnertime, then bedtime. I was missing her best playtime, and I missed her learning how to climb stairs! When the 6 weeks were up, I was so happy to be home with my baby again. The best part of teaching summer school was realizing that, though I felt empowered and capable in the classroom, what I wanted most was to be at home with my baby. Here are a few other things I learned during those 6 weeks:

• It is possible to get myself and my daughter clothed, fed and out of the house by 7am.
• Laundry does not have to be done in just one day. Making a “laundry day” leaves absolutely no room for play, so it is better to fit it in throughout the week rather than ruining a whole day.
• Household responsibilities can be reasonably kept up with only a few hours in the afternoon to spend on them. This realization has been crucial to implementing my “play before work” philosophy.

In staying at home with my daughter I am finding myself, figuring out who I am outside of any degree or job title, things I have let define me for too long. My daughter and I go to the zoo, to the beach, on hikes, on walks, to stores, to pools, to parks and playgrounds – sometimes by ourselves, other times with neighbors, friends or even strangers that I meet through an online community. I’ve found that I really enjoy stand-up paddle boarding, the very first ocean sport I’ve ever liked, and I’m pretty good at it! I love my yoga class and am learning a routine I can do on my own at home while my daughter is sleeping. I am reading books for pleasure and for parenting. I have consolidated all my to-do lists into one, and I am (slowly) motivating myself to work on projects that I’ve had in mind before I was ever pregnant. Jesus is showing me what it means to be whole and enjoy life. I am starting to see a world full of possibilities again, and it is oh so refreshing.

FIRST STEPS!

At 11 months old our baby girl took her first steps this past Sunday! Apparently she's been storing up this skill for some time because she didn't just take one or two wobbly steps, she took three or four very sturdy steps a number of times! We were at a park watching a church baseball game so did not have our video camera with us. This footage was taken once we got home the same day. She's knows she's doing something pretty special - her face lights up with the biggest, proudest smile each time she walks!

Gabrielle's first two teeth have begun to grow in! It's cute, it sometimes looks like she's chewing on something when I reckon she's just checking out these new additions to her mouth.

Happy (belated) 4th of July! It was her first 4th, but she was in bed by 7:30 and slept through all of the fireworks. Speaking of sleeping, she now sleeps through the night! PTL! Her wake-up time is typically between 6 and 6:30am, with a very occasional 7/7:30am sleep-in. Mommy and Daddy are extremely happy about this.

Two of Gabrielle's favorite games to play is ball and chase (hmmm...I really don't mean for it to sound so canine). She knows the word "ball" and she enjoys following after a ball or throwing it to us. The chase game she came up with all on her own, and she gets the biggest kick out of it. We play it multiple times a day, and it can get very tiring for all parties involved.

Other words she knows are water, bye-bye, kisses, backwards, where is it?, no-no (though she laughs at us when we say it), nose and bellybutton (it's really cute, she laughs when we say these, too, she'll keep pointing at our noses or bellybuttons and laugh each time we repeat their names!)

Though her first words (though heard mainly when crying or protesting) were "dada" and "mama", there is one we hear often throughout the day. It is part of what makes our darling girl such a socialite. She says it to people when they get on the elevator. She says it to people in the park while being strolled. She says it when she hears a phone ring. She says it to people at Costco while smiling and waving from the children's seat in the shopping cart. It's pretty hard to resist her, and most people respond back with smiles, waves, and an occasional tickle. As one of my rarely seen mommy-friends stated, "Wow, it's like she knows me!"

Another favorite pastime of Gabrielle's is emptying things, though she is starting to enjoy putting them back as well! Here she is emptying out our stash of gift-bags. Other areas she enjoys emptying are: the bottom shelf of the linen closet, the tupperware cabinet (always a favorite), the bottom two drawers in the kitchen, books off of her toy shelves.

Two places Gabrielle frequents is the zoo and the beach or pool. At our zoo, her favorite things are playing on the playground (she particularly enjoys walking back and forth on the shaky bridge, as well as trying to climb up slides) and looking at the animals in the keiki zoo (children's zoo). Our zoo has a wonderful area for children, with many farm animals they can get real close to. There is a large koi pond that she will stand next to and watch as these large fish swim right up to her. There is also an area where kids can go in and pet kids (haha! well, the goats are mostly adults I'm sure, but I thought I'd try and be clever!). We tried this for the first time this last week, and it will be awhile before we do it again. You see, our daughter has monkey feet, especially when she is "walking" (that is, while holding on to Mom or Dad). When she comes upon something she'd like to explore, rather than let go of our hands and bend over, she will simply explore the object - or in this case, animal - with her feet! I think it's genius, personally, but we didn't want to get kicked out because our daughter was stepping on the goats. So, we'll try it again when she's a little older.

At the beach Gabrielle loves to walk around in the shallow area where the water changes depth just a little with the waves that are breaking further out. She enjoys playing in the sand and making piles of other objects she finds on the beach. She started crying the first time she got a fistful of sand in her mouth. It was kind of funny, though - what do you expect when you put your hand in your mouth after playing in the sand?

There are a number of days (and they are becoming more and more frequent) where she is daddy's little girl. He thoroughly enjoys the attention, and I happily sit back and enjoy watching our daughter crawl and cry after him when he goes to the restroom. I don't recall anyone warning me that my days of privacy in the bathroom were over! Though my patience wears thin on those clingy, tired and cranky days (not that I don't have my share as well), I count myself so blessed to be her mommy. She brings much joy to her daddy and me. Thank you, Jesus, for this beautiful, precious gift!

(by the way, could anyone tell that my husband was the one who put up our last post? a man of many words, wouldn't you say? hmmm....)

Recent Pics

Games She Plays

9 months old and our little Gabrielle continues to be more and more fun as she is learning to play games with herself and with us!

The first game she started playing was Peek-a-boo! We have played it with her innumerable times, but a few weeks ago, while I was in the kitchen, she started lifting her red scarf up and down all on her own. When I realized what she was doing and began to vocalize the game, she just started giggling! It was so cool to see her begin a game for the very first time; she's learning!!!

Another game she plays is one that she picked up all on her own. Gabrielle usually goes to sleep in her crib, but once a week we put her down on our bed because our Bible Study meets at our place and, well, her bedroom is essentially an extension of our living room. Well, now that she's a crawling little discoverer, Derek builds up a mini fortress on our bed to keep her from going over the edge. She's become a pro at pulling herself up to standing on pretty much anything, so for a few minutes Derek would keep laying her back down on the bed. After a while she started to think that "landing" on the bed was pretty funny, and after she would pull herself up she wouldn't wait for Derek to lay her back down, she would let go and fall backwards all on her own. She did this over and over again, giggling each time. Derek said she got to the point where she wouldn't even stand up all the way, she was so eager to fall onto the bed!

Though incredibly cute, we were a bit worried she would perform this free-fall on other surfaces than a soft bed. She did try a few times, but then she started learning how to get herself back to a seated position from standing (thank God, putting her down for naps and bed has once again become an enjoyable task!), so she seems to only play this when she's on our bed. We love that she's coming up with her own games!

Wow, has it really been over a month since I last blogged? Well, that explains there is so much to write about!

PULLING UP

In just the last two weeks our little girl has learned all sorts of new skills, the kind that have us hurrying to baby proof our condo. One such skill is her new found ability to push herself up to a seated position from lying down, and then to pull herself up to standing. She pulled herself up for the first time after we put her down in her crib for the night. She was crying, and when we went to check on her she was all big and tall, standing up! I grabbed the camera for a picture before picking her up, which is why she's not smiling in the photo.

She's now become quite a pro at pulling herself up and can do so while hanging on to the couch or Mommy's or Daddy's legs. Though we are ecstatic that she has learned this skill, it has certainly made bedtime/nap time a lot more work. She used to go to sleep within 10 minutes of lying her down. Now when we lay her down her eyes light up and you can see her thinking, "You can lay me down, but I'm gonna get myself up, because I can!" And boy is she quick! No sooner do I turn around than she is already sitting up with both hands on the rails, poised to hoist herself up! She's so proud when she does it, too. So cute. It now takes 30 to 45 minutes to get her down for her naps because, well, she doesn't want to stay down.

CRAWLING

That's right, our little girl is a bona fide crawler now! She's been thinking about it for months, and she finally took her first, er, steps! She's motivated the most, of course, when we place no-no's in front of her. A few days into her new skill, she's beginning to realize that she can actually get to wherever it is she wants to go! Though she is enjoying this new found freedom, her preferred mode of travel continues to be "walking" while holding on to Daddy's or Mommy's fingers.

WATER STORIES

We took Gabrielle to Sea Life Park. It is Hawaii's (much smaller) version of Sea World. After living here for 6 years, it was really fun to go somewhere we'd never been to before. Gabrielle really enjoyed the big fish tank. She got a little bit scared when a manta ray swam by since it was at least twice her size, but the rest of the fish she enjoyed watching. She was very attentive during the Sea Lion show, but got pretty distracted during the dolphin show (it was longer and there was too much time in between the tricks).

An interesting tidbit: Hawaii's Sea Life Park is home to the only known "wholphin" in the world. She is a cross between a false killer whale (the father) and an Atlantic bottlenose dolphin. 

Gabrielle's next water adventure was taking her very first dip in the ocean!

She was not very fond of the whole experience at all. The moving water scared her, as did the sound of the waves (even though they were small waves). When we tried again later that day she started crying before we even got to the water's edge, poor thing.

Next we tried the pool. This went over much better! It was Derek's idea to have me get in the pool first so that her focus would be Mommy rather than the water. She was a little tentative at first, but before she knew it, she was up to her neck in the water!

The following week we tried the beach again, this time with the same distraction as the pool. I got in first, and so she was just anxious to get to Mommy. She did much better this time, though she was still unsure about the moving water and she made a very cute face when she splashed herself with that saltwater!

Walking along the beach with Daddy.

Oooooh! I spotted Mommy! I see Mommy!!!

OTHER CUTENESS

Here is Gabrielle emptying my tupperware cupboard for the first time. Doesn't she look proud? This is how she "helps" Mommy in the kitchen.

The shirt says, "Who's Your Daddy?" In case you didn't know, her daddy is a Star Wars fan. :) Thanks, Aunt Jaalah!

My first Mother's Day! Super special.

A few more cute pictures, and a conglomeration of videos I've taken throughout the month. The video highlights her favorite pastime of "walking" with Mom or Dad's help, as well as her blossoming vocabulary. 

Thanks for reading! Hopefully I'll have something for you again before another month is up!

Wow! We can't hardly believe our little girl is 7 1/2 months old already. I feel like I need to start planning her 1st birthday party! Everyone, both friends and strangers, has told us how fast it goes, but it's crazy-fast when you experience it for yourself. I look at babies younger than Gabrielle and have a hard time remember when she was "that small."

Derek turned 30 this month! We had a birthday party at the beach - Gabrielle's first full day at the beach - and had a wonderful time visiting and playing with friends. I chose a beach party because Derek enjoys playing in the water but rarely makes it out there anymore. Wouldn't you know it there was a shark sighting mid-morning so the water was off limits for a few hours. Here is everyone looking forlornly at the water. It was actually kind of creepy because we were at a very popular surf spot and there are always people in the water.

Gabs's first Easter!

Gabrielle continues to be a pretty good eater. She'll fuss during feedings occasionally, but the fussing is usually because she's really tired or constipated (poor thing, but it's awfully cute to watch her work on a pooh!). This whole eating solids thing has really changed how I spend my days as it takes a lot more time to make her food and then feed her. Breastfeeding was so much simpler! It is a pretty cool thing, though, to introduce foods to your kid for the first time. Her favorite foods so far are sweet potato, carrots, green beans, pears, apples, bananas and mango. Foods she'll tolerate are zucchini, rice cereal, butternut squash and peas. She'll only eat turkey and poi when they're mixed with something she likes. Next we're going to experiment with herbs and spices with the hopes that she will enjoy different flavors and want to eat more than chicken nuggets and french fries in the future...we'll keep our fingers crossed!

One other thing she really enjoys is drinking water. I swear, you'd think we were feeding her dessert 3 times a day the way she reacts to her sippy cup! The first few times we gave it to her she didn't quite know what to do with the sippy lid, so we took it off and almost immediately she brought it to her mouth to drink just like we do! Even when she's not getting any water out of it, she just enjoys sucking on the lip of the cup. Crazy kid. :)

One thing we've done a few times now, as a family and when it's just Gabs and I, is hike up Makapu'u. This is a fairly moderate hike about half an hour outside of town that is paved, so we can push the stroller up it. As the hike is right near the coast, it is often windy throughout, especially up at the top. Our girl thinks wind is the funniest thing. It starts blowing on her face and she kicks and screams and giggles. It's super cute.

The last time we did the hike the air was oddly still and from the top we could see some rain moving in. We got caught in some of it on the way down (and it was very refreshing!). We've taken pictures on this hike numerous times before, but with the weather it looked especially pretty again. In the last photo you can see a wall of rain just off the coast. Beautiful.

Gabrielle is not quite crawling yet, but I think she may be by the end of the week. She rolls onto her back and tummy all day long, and while sitting she'll lunge for toys and rock up on her knees a bit. She is becoming a lot more adventurous, curious, and vocal. It is really neat to see her be able to express herself more and more. One of her favorite things to do is hold on to Daddy's hands and "walk" around the apartment. She's learned to pull herself up to standing from a seated position. We sometimes think she'll start walking before she learns to crawl! She goes down for naps and nighttime really well and no longer needs her pacifier to do so. 

First Taste of Solids!

Our little girl is growing up so fast; she is 6 months old already! Weighing in at 16 lb 2.2 oz and measuring 25.5 in long, our pediatrician described her as a textbook baby. She continues to become more and more aware of the world around her, and it is a joy for us to be a part of her first experiences. She is starting to "talk" to us an awful lot. It's so fun to hear her voice! She seemed to skip the rolling over thing and can sit up on her own now, becoming off-balanced only when she gets distracted suddenly. One of her favorite songs is Old McDonald Had a Farm - she loves listening to all the animal noises we make.

She has been staring at us while we eat for some time now, so we finally started her on solids. My aunt had given us a baby food cooker as well as a recipe book for baby food, so I've made her rice cereal and pureed zucchini so far. Boy, was she ready to start eating these new foods! From the very first bite her mouth was WIDE OPEN, and she never made any funny faces while trying these foods for the first time. I'll have to start setting aside time during the week to make batches of food in order to keep up with her appetite for new things to taste! The video is of her first taste of solids, rice cereal.

Precious moments with Daddy.